Part-time Paramedication

Thursday, August 31, 2006

An update

So, here are some picture insights into my life... who doesn't love a good picture? Don't lie, I know you all do. The pictures are out of order but I really dont want to shuffle them around right now, so think of it as a challenge.... what order did I really want to put the pictures in? How fun. I am jealous of you for having the fun that I will never myself experience.

This is the shack in Madeira Park. Or, as Rachel so eloquently called it, the sin shack. While I do know for a fact that this poor innocent one room shack has been violated many a time by lonely paramedics (who were dating at the time so slag off, don't be so quick to judge), it has not been used as such lately.
Outside the shack is 'the other' Ryan (one I went to school with) with a reluctant looking Code 3 the Station Kitty.
This is Grandpa's new puppy, Ruff. He is a fan of biting.

This is the coveted ambulance mobile. Made entirely of cardboard cut-out ambulances, some sticks, strings and 2 pennies it is a state of the art mobile, perfect for decorating any lonely part timer paramedic shack.


AJ and Lindsay got married!!!!!! Our little AJ all growed up...


Code 3 the Station Kitty thinks he owns the place.

My paramedic tip for the day:

DO NOT take 20 15mg tablets of Robitussin in a time frame of 4 hours. You WILL feel 'funny' and dissassociated with your body. You WILL NOT feel any kind of good or pleasant high nor will you die. You WILL feel tingly. That is all.


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Ahhaha ahha haha ha...


I worked 73 hours last week.
Ahhahaha haha ha ha... ha....
(this picture I think is funny and maybe I am going a bit crazy, who knows)

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Fungus?

Does anyone else ever feel neglected by their GP Doctors?
I have this spot of skin on my tummy that is about dime sized and a funny reddish colour and so I asked one doctor about it.
Sun spot he said, keep an eye on it, should be ok.

Ok, I thought, but the next time I was at the doctors and saw someone else you better bet I asked about it again.
Fungus, here I'll give you a perscription for some cream.
Ewwwww fungus???

But seriously, I have my doubts... cuz these doctors just glance at the spot and form their conclusion almost instantaneously! No questions are asked like, 'how long has this been there' or 'does it itch' or 'is it getting bigger' or anything...
I feel as if my little red spot needs to be properly diagnosed... I don't want to go around putting fungus cream on everything you know?
Maybe I should poll 100 walk in clinic doctors and see what the majority say.
Am I being paranoid? I don't know...
Maybe I just don't want to admit that I have anything to do with fungus.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Patient woes

Let me start out by saying that I love my job.

That being said, I would like to share a story about one particular patient. I will not use the words I would like to use to describe him but lets just say that a bigger moron I have never met.

Moron point #1:
It is fireworks night and we were called (on overtime at 2am) to the bench outside of Royal Columbian Hospital. Who calls from outside the door of a major hospital?

Moron point #2:
We convinced him to go inside to this hospital instead of going to a different hospital. He was complaining of back pain but would not lie on a nice comfy bed nor let us touch or help him. Nope, it was a wheelchair for his royal highness and he had to drag himself over to said wheelchair. The poor man. He could hardly move he was in so much pain. (This is meant as sarcasm). Who calls paramedics and then insists on doing everything himself and refuses any help you try to offer? My spidy senses are tingling at this point. Something is up.

Moron point #3:
So we took him inside and the nurse said he could wait in the waiting room like everyone else. Upon arrival in the waiting room our patient proceeds to throw a hissy fit.
"I am not sitting here staring at those guys!" (the security guys)
Uh oh, we think, there is more to the story than we think.
Turns out this man's girlfriend is in the ER having seizures and this man (who is also drunk, did I mention?) was inside the trauma bay trying to take pictures and generally pissing off all the nurses. So security throws him out almost literally which is why he has back pain in the first place; they had aggravated an old injury.
Who pisses off nurses? They are among the best people in the world in the most thankless job in the world. Please, let me wipe your ass for you while you flail about and swear at me and tell me what a horrible nurse I am. These things they deal with every day.

Moron point #4
The man would not sit in front of security. I was mad at this point and my partner had given up. Ok, I thought, time to take charge. So, I wheeled him over to the other side of the waiting room.
"I can still see them, wheel me somewhere else!"
Excuse me? I say... you want me to do what?
"Move me."
Enter horrible glare here.
"Please... I don't care to sit here"
That's better, I say, and proceed to wheel him behind a wall where no one has to stare at his ugly face. I tell him I don't appreciate his attitude towards me, I am here to do my best to help him and I don't need this kind of abuse towards me.
"But your cohorts (security) hurt me! They hurt my back!" (ah ha... hahaha... cohorts... look at the drunk man trying to use big words)
I dont care, I say, I dont deserve to be yelled at and ordered around.
"Listen, I want...." (I cut him off here with yet another death glare)
"I would appreciate an update on my girlfriend"
I told him I would see what I could do and promptly stormed out of the hospital in a rage, fighting every urge I had to punch this man in the face or maybe pick up those crutches over there which could cause more damage than my little fists.

So, after way too much trouble, way too many tax payers dollars and many moron points later, we finally got to leave Mr. Moron in the loving care of the security men who had already shown him how much they cared about him and his aching back.

And it's fireworks night again tonight... rather than watching and enjoying, I get to clean up after all the drunks that beat the crap out of eachother. But, dont get me wrong because remember, I do love my job!

So until next time, keep fit and have fun.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Yarrrrr

Ok, so I saw pirates yesterday and while the ending left much to the imagination, it inspired me to learn more about pirates. Oh pirates... how we are so uneducated about your ways. We often look at the glory and fun of the pirate life, but there is a dark side to pirates. Actually, most of the pirate life is quite horrible. I wonder why we like pirates so much...
Here are some quick tidbits about pirates:

There are reports of the beginnings of piracy being around the 1st century BC in the Mediterranean region threatening the comerce of the Roman Empire.

Modern definitions of piracy include the following acts:
Kidnapping of people for ransom
Robbery
Murder
Seizure of items or the ship
Sabotage, resulting in the ship subsequently sinking

Does this sound like piracy or terrorism? Well, piracy is defined as robbery comitted at sea (or sometimes on shore) by an agent without a commission from a sovereign nation. In other words, they do what they do for their own profit.

Did you know that in the first half of 2003 there were 234 pirate attacks, 16 deaths, and 52 people injured worldwide. There were also 193 crew members held hostage during this period.

Modern pirates use modern technology and are today most prevalent in Indonesian waters.

Other names for pirates include:
buccaneers
kapers
zeerovers
vrijbuiters (also freebooters, filbustiers, filibusters)
Lanun
Bajak
picaroons

But, despite their tainted past and most criminal present I think pirates are wicked cool.
Maybe this is why: